Letting Go

Posted on August 22nd, 2009

Letting go is a practice of releasing; having let go is a state of freedom.

dandelionLetting go into who you really are is the greatest gift you can give the world. As you let go of problems, judgments, resentments, and most importantly, all the beliefs and messages that are not your highest truth, you become free to express your authentic self with others and share your true gifts with the world.

Imagine a world where all the people have let go of their old baggage - past conditioning, limiting programming, judgments and resentments - and they are light, loving, accepting and joyful. Imagine the connection between people and the synergy within groups, communities and nations.

Letting go involves releasing the past and starting fresh in the present moment. It means trusting that you are more than your roles, beliefs and stories. Many are reluctant to let go because they fear they will have nothing left. They cling to problems, unhealthy situations, and outworn roles and relationships because it feels safe in its familiarity. They don’t know who they are underneath. They haven’t experienced their true, authentic Self bursting with energy, waiting to express its true nature in the world.

So how does one touch into this state of freedom where they can be themselves, uninhibited, light and joyful? By letting go, bit by bit. By first noticing where they hold on, where they resist, and where they struggle, and then slowly, gently, releasing the hold and embracing what’s underneath.

Practice Letting Go
Get into the habit of letting go of stress, tension, problems, the past, resentments, false beliefs and anything that limits you from feeling free in life. Spend at least 5 minutes each day at the beginning, middle or end of your day with your eyes closed, centered within, doing the following letting go practices.

♦ Focus on simply letting go of your breath. Let your breath fill your lungs naturally and then focus on the breath leaving your lungs. Notice the release, feel the relief. Notice how naturally your lungs refill. Letting go of your breath doesn’t mean you stop breathing, it allows life to continue flowing.

♦ Let go of stress and tension. Notice any tension in your body - where are you holding? Simply let go of holding and watch the tension release. Scan your whole body to find another place where you are holding and continue letting go until your whole body is relaxed.

♦ Let go of thinking. Listen to your thoughts and then let them go. Watch as they arise, let them pass through, and then tune into the spaciousness that surrounds them and the stillness behind them.

♦ Let go of resentments. Carrying resentments around is like carrying someone else’s baggage on your back. If there’s nothing useful for you in the luggage, why carry it around? Notice any judgments or resentments you have towards yourself or others and imagine placing them on the ground. Feel the relief from doing this. Now imagine walking away into freedom.

♦ Let go of old stories. What stories do you keep retelling that locks you into repeating them in your life? Be willing to explore the depth and expansiveness of who you are underneath past roles and stories. Imagine taking them off like a piece of clothing or stepping out and away from them like leaving a room. Tune into who you are without your stories.

♦ Let go of limiting beliefs. What beliefs hold you back from expressing yourself and living your life freely? Bring them to your awareness so you can let them go. Dig deep into the core beliefs such as not being good enough, not having love, not being big enough and so on. Look at these beliefs and know they are just untrue messages in your space. Be willing to release them and discover your truth underneath.

creating-sunlightAs you practice letting go your body will be more energized, your mind more peaceful and your soul free to shine through and light your way in life.

Are you ready to let go?


Transformational Audio Courses by Gini Grey:


~ Balance Your Energy


~ Living In Abundance


~ Energy Healing Meditation


~ Complimentary Audio on Compassion



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17 Responses to “Letting Go”

  1. mesila Says:
    March 6th, 2010 at 1:45 am

    Letting go sounds good, but you make it sound so easy…when it really isn’t, sometimes.

    Sometimes, I will attempt to let go of, say, my resentment for the woman who ’stole’ the lover that I had for 10 years, and used devious duplicitous means to get to the point where she could do that. I “let it go” over and over again but it keeps clinging to me like some kind of vicious creature that won’t let go of ME. And I have wasted 3, almost 4 years of my life completely wrecked, and made null, by all this. I don’t want to waste any more time; my mom’s death last month showed me that we only get so much of it, a limited number of years. And I won’t ever get those ones back.

    Your suggestions sound a little too chicken-soupish. Just writing down ideas one wants to let go and getting rid of the paper…or declaring empowering affirmations…all that’s really striking me as mere wishful thinking. Maybe there needs to be more ‘wishful acting’, for stuff like this to actually work, and translate to a successful improvement of a messed-up state of things? And acting that’s not merely symbolic, too?

  2. ginigrey Says:
    March 6th, 2010 at 12:33 pm

    Hello Mesila,

    Thanks for your honesty in your comment. I agree, letting go isn’t always easy, yet as you’ve learned from your experience with your mom’s death - life is short so the more we can let go of old hurts and baggage the sooner we can get on with living life and enjoying it more fully. I can understand how painful it must have been to have your lover leave you for another, yet holding onto the view that they were ’stolen’ from you implies ownership. Each person is responsible for their own choices. I think people have a hard time with these painful situations because they are unwilling to forgive and let go of their pain. When people process their anger and sadness then they can release themselves from the bondage of pain by forgiving others as well as taking responsibility for their role (there are not victims in these love relationships - we all play a role).

    I do make letting go sound simple, because in reality it is (but as you say, it’s not always easy to go there and do it) - it’s just letting go of whatever story, pain etc we are holding on to. This also means letting go of the payoff for the pain (victimhood has lots of payoffs - it’s been an ongoing process for me to let go of the places where I feel trapped and a victim, yet when I do it is so freeing and empowering). Our ego mind wants to keep our identity in tact by holding on to our victim stories or our hero stories. These are all just passing roles and we are so much bigger than these. I wish I had a clearer way to write about letting go, but it is an experience so I’m offering simple tools to try - sometimes letting go is a practice people need to do with the smaller things in life so they can feel safer to let go of the bigger things. Starting with thoughts or as you refer ‘wishful’ thinking is a great place to begin for many people.

    I hope you find powerful ways to let go and free yourself of pain.

    Take care,

    Gini

  3. Melanie Says:
    November 5th, 2010 at 8:27 am

    I am leaving a comment because I, like Melissa experience my hurts and resentments as clinging. I’ve found that letting go is an emotional process rather than a mental or or “willed” process.

    I think of emotinal processes as akin to digestive processes - when there is something that I haven’t digested I get stuck (emotionally consitipated).

    Before I can “let go” of a resentment I’ve found that I need to acknowledge the deep hurt or wound that caused it. I developed 2 practices // meditations.

    I’m in various 12 step programs so the first I developed as a companion piece for my fourth and fifth step.

    It worked really well for my resentments with childhood care-givers like my Mom and people that no longer have an active effect on my life now.

    Release of Resentment for people no longer in my life

    List each person and the way that they hurt you
    Imagine that person making amends to you
    Imagine them apologizing for hurting you
    Imagine them giving you the affirmations, explanations and promises of support to help you heal
    List what you need to heal from the wound - what new beliefs, actions, support etc do you need
    Promise yourself that you will provide those affirmations, support for yourself

    Imagine standing in front of the person who hurt you and saying

    Thank you for your apology
    I release you from responsibility for my healing
    I release you - your behavior no longer has any bearing on my present or future
    I release you to your life and your higher power

    The second one is the one that I use now for people that I can’t seem to get a handle on in my present life - this is the one I use for people that I have that burning anger/blame for which recurs every time I think about their behavior or the situation - this one really works for me…

    I developed this practice because I didn’t understand why I would want to “release my resentments”.

    I had been various 12 step programs for 18 years and have always thought the resentment release was a cop out - If someone has hurt me or f*cked me over I have a right to be mad, I have a right to be bitter…

    Then I realized that I wanted and needed the energy that gets trapped in keeping the f*ckers in my brain…

    So I developed a release of resentment practice that doesn’t discount the fact that I was hurt by the behaviour of the other person (and took the judgement out of me being human and therefore able to be hurt)

    It goes like this….
    I express what complete a f*cker I thought or felt the other person was… in detail…

    and then I say what I wanted and needed,

    I thank the other person for reminding me of the things that I wanted, deserved or needed,

    I affirm that those things are in my life…

    I release the other pwerson to the will of higher power,

    I pray that they get what they want and need to treat others better…

    Here is one that I actually did for an old boss

    For “D” the complete f*cker that tried to make me into his personal assistant, that was continually critical and made me feel defective and small about my work, that micromanaged me within an inch of my life, that made it impossible for me to stay and look for another job after I had given my notice…

    Thank you “D” for reminding me that I deserve respect and recognition for a job well done.
    Thank you “D” for reminding me that I work well independently.
    Thank you “D” for reminding me that I need autonomy at work.
    Thank you “D” for reminding me that I deserve to be treated fairly.
    Thank you “D” for reminding me that I deserve to be rewarded for my hard work and loyalty.
    Thank you “D” for reminding me that I am a thinking feeling human being.
    Thank you “D” for reminding me that I need to feel valuable and worthwhile.
    Thank you “D” for reminding me that I need approval and rewards.
    That you “D” for reminding me that I deserve approval and rewards for a job well done.
    Thank you “D” for reminding me that I am good enough just as I am.

    I affirm that I deserve respect and recognition.
    I am good enough just as I am.
    I affirm that I do my job well.
    I love and approve of myself just as I am.
    I affirm that I deserve to be comfortable at work, to have my work style supported.
    I am a valuable and worthwhile person.
    I affirm that I deserve to be treated fairly.
    I am loveable and worthwhile.
    I affirm that I work hard and am loyal.
    I am good enough just as I am.
    I affirm that I am a valuable and worthwhile human being.
    I love and approve of myself just as I am.

    “D”, I release you, I release you, I release you.

    May you find the joy and happiness and trust you need in your life to treat others well. I release you.

    That is my release of resentment meditation…. I have found that every time I do it, there is tremendous release inside of me… it takes the sting out… I get to see that how the pain caused by the other persons behavior can be comforted now… That is the part of resentment release that has never been clear to me before… I can actually comfort myself when I do this… I can “let it go” without staying stuck or discounting how it was for me… I can think of “D” now without any emotions coming up and I often only think of him when talking about this meditation.

    I can think of him with compassion. I look back at the situation and see how fear based, perfectionistic, shamed and self-judgemental he was and how he communicated that to everyone and everything around him.

    Every time I do this meditation on things/situations/people/losses that were very painful they become less painful…

    When I’ve communicated it with others I’ve encouraged them to start where they actually are -

    Many times I see that people resist the intensity of their own emotions (I shouldn’t feel this way, think this way, be this way) rather than relaxing into how they actually feel, think and are…

    Anywho - this is given freely - may you find or create what works for you - bless you and thank you for letting me share some of my process

    Mel

  4. Gini Grey Says:
    November 5th, 2010 at 3:42 pm

    Hello Melanie,

    Thank you so much for sharing your powerful meditations - they feel healing just reading about them so doing them must be amazing.

    I love how you’ve taken the hurtful behavior of others and turned them into lessons and affirmations for what you truly deserve. I believe that as we honor and love ourselves we then attract people into our lives who reflect that.

    And thank you for giving this freely as I’d like to incorporate these into articles on my Love Bug or Spiritual Transformers site.

    With Gratitude,

    Gini

  5. julie Says:
    March 16th, 2011 at 6:40 am

    Hello, Last month my best friend of 25 years committed suicide. and now Iam left with so many questions, so much sorrow and heartach, such emptiness, and guilt. It has been 6 weeks and he is still ALL I think about, I still cry daily, and I can’t move forward. I am so scared that by letting these bad emotions go Iam letting him go. and I don’t want him to go. I don’t want to lose him. Please help me find a way to let go of the hurt and focas on the happy memories we had.

    Also he took his own life to get back at his x she is by far the most evil, heartless, mean person I have ever had the displeasure of meeting in my my entire life! I blame her 100% for his passing. I hate her, and can’t get her or the hate I feel for her out of my head, I keep reliving the mean horrible things she said and did to him over and over again till he couldn’d take it anymore, and did what he did and then I have to relive the pain of losing him all over again. I have allways been a really loving person now all I can think about is ways I can hurt her like she is hurting me and she hurt him ( don’t worry I would never actually hurt her) but I can’t stand thinking like this, I don’t like who I am becoming! I NEED to let go of this anger, hate resentment, hostile thinking, I NEED to let go of HER completely, but I don’t know how. How do I forgive her without betraying my friend that she killed!?????

    Please tell me how to let go?? How to forgive ‘The Devil’ herself?

    Thank-you
    Desperately seeking peace
    Julie

  6. Gini Grey Says:
    March 16th, 2011 at 5:07 pm

    Hello Julie, and hello to your grief, your sadness, your heartache and your anger. That is so painful to lose a long time best friend, and to suicide makes it worse.

    It’s natural for you to feel all the feelings you are feeling, even the guilt and raging anger. It’s not who you are becoming, it’s your emotional reactions to a tradgedy. We naturally want to understand why these things happen and our minds want to make sense of it by blaming someone.

    But on a soul level, you know that your friend made this choice on his own, even if he was triggered by his x. Leaving the planet was the only choice he saw in the moment, even though there were other options.

    You may not be ready to let go of your friend yet (and in the end, you won’t be letting him go from your heart or memory, just letting go of attachment and pain). You may need to nurture yourself and your inner child first (I find it so helpful to speak to the hurt part of myself that feels like a small child - to let her vent, cry, rage, all the while blanketing her with love and compassion).

    Once you’ve expressed your anger and sadness, you will move closer to forgiveness. Here is an article with experiential steps for touching into forgiveness:

    ~ Experience Forgiveness Through Spiritual Energy

    In the meantime, in addition to loving yourself, you might want to have a spirit to spirit conversation with your friend (if that resonates with you). Send him your love and see his spiritual essence that is free of pain from his emotional human ties.

    I wish you peace of mind and peace in your heart. If you have any more questions or thoughts, please return here to comment, I’m happy to help.

    Take care,

    Gini

  7. Gini Grey Says:
    March 17th, 2011 at 4:34 pm

    Hello again Julie,

    Just want to let you know about an article I wrote today for my Love Bug site that you might find helpful:

    ~ How to Process Emotions and Release Charged Emotions

    The exercises in the second half of the article might help you to release some of the charged emotions you are experiencing.

    But I also want to delicately suggest that you also look at any anger you may have towards your friend for taking his own life. Some of your anger towards his ex may be displaced anger towards your friend.

    I know it’s hard to express anger towards a loved one who has died, but it is a natural part of the grieving process to feel abandoned etc. and it’s healing to honor those feelings of betrayal which will shift to understanding and compassion again.

    Take care,

    Gini

  8. CLAUDIO Says:
    July 20th, 2011 at 8:48 pm

    people say i must forgive myself 1st and so on BUT I JUST cant forgive myself - feel guilt shame all the time - - i feel the only way i can some sense of ‘moving frwd” is to 1st have my son forgive me /or not (but at least i can work with whatever it is) for being an absent father - is my thinking correct? - don’t know anymore - help ???

  9. Gini Grey Says:
    July 21st, 2011 at 3:36 pm

    Hello Claudio, I just connected with you on Love Bug so I am glad you found this other site of mine too.

    Waiting for someone else to forgive us can be a bit of a trap. Forgiveness is an individual process - your son will have to come to that on his own for himself. For you, you need to do this for yourself as well (as you might not be able to receive your son’s forgiveness anyway until you’ve given it to yourself).

    Something I’ve come to discover through my spiritual growth is that we create agreements with the main people in our life for our growth. So for example, your son may have chosen you in order to experience the pain of your absence so he can come to a place of forgiveness, or self-love despite not having a father present, etc. And you have your life lessons to learn (sounds like letting go of shame and guilt would be helpful as they serve no purpose except to shut us down further).

    I read a wonderful book about this topic and wrote about it in a recent article on my Love Bug site - see if it resonates with you - The Soul Purpose of Dysfunctional Families.

    I’ve also written on the topic of forgiveness on my Spiritual Transformers site - see if this article (which includes an experiential exercise)is helpful -Experience Total Forgiveness.

    Take care,

    Gini

  10. lee Says:
    September 15th, 2011 at 5:27 pm

    The Sedona method might work for the problems you guys are having. I know if there is a deep rooted problem (memory), I had to get face to face with it and accept it. And say, ok I’m still alive, I accept etc.
    I couldnt let it hide in my mind. It helped me Tons. But if your not willing to put in the work t will just stay in your subconscious mind eating you up inside. Here’s one last thing any person), anything your attached to will cause you misery for the amount of time your attached to it. (A very strong person with a dominant reality taught me this). So in a sense, it makes sense to just get unattached to everything

  11. Linda Says:
    November 2nd, 2011 at 1:58 pm

    The pain of loss for me always goes back to not being enought. When I have been left I thought it was the others persons fault but deep down I believed that I was not enough. Somewhere along the line my selfworth became tied to whether I was loved by someone else.

    Today I love myself first and if someone leaves it doesn’t have to be just about me. People move on and change and the years have taught me I am better off without them. With every relationship I handed my value over to someone else. If you love me I am worth loving if you don’t I am lost.

  12. Gini Grey Says:
    November 4th, 2011 at 4:29 pm

    Hello Linda,

    What an honest and wonderful discover that you realized that it wasn’t the other persons fault but that you believed you weren’t enough. I can relate to that one as I think so many of us can. For some reason (different reasons and experiences for each of us) most of us grow up not believing we are enough and we end up giving our power away to others in hope they will validate that we are enough. And of course, no one can really do that for us.

    I’m so happy to hear that you now love yourself first - what a gift to you and to those who can learn from seeing you live from that empowered place.

    Relationships come and go as you said, so it’s really about enjoying them while they are here but not getting over attached to them and remaining centerd within ourselves so we can let go when its over.

    Thanks for sharing,

    Gini

  13. LindaB Says:
    March 4th, 2012 at 5:40 pm

    I am humbled by how many people are hurting. It’s always so eye-opening when you realize that everyone feels so many similar experiences.

    Imagine if everyone was willing to let go, to let themselves resonate. Oh what a world~

    Thanks for this, Ginigrey.

  14. Gini Grey Says:
    March 7th, 2012 at 3:39 pm

    Hello Linda,

    It is amazing to see how many of us experience similar experiences and painful situations. It helps us to be more compassionate and learn from eachother, but as you said, oh what a world if we could all let go and realize how freeing it is to not be attached to what was and to resonate with our true selves and what is.

    Take care,

    Gini

  15. ROSS GALAN Says:
    August 23rd, 2012 at 2:24 pm

    The issue of letting go is a supreme topic we should be practising in our daily life. It is not easy, though due to our emotional & mental attachments basically. We can ONLY love anything and anyone if we LET GO. Letting go is not attaching ourselves emotionally and mentaly to anything and/or anyone.

    Attachments get in the way of life, happiness and love. We are emotionally and mentally attached either to anything or anyone or both. Letting go makes it very, very difficult to let go of anything/anyone due to our fear of “losing”. Losing? Have we ever possessed, owned or had anything or anyone? No! We only make good use of things for our physical needs and personal satisfaction. Things come and go just as people in our lives come and go. We can only BE WITH and LOVE people, but not to have/possess/own them.

    So, I have nothing! I have no one either. I came here on this Planet bare-handed and will leave it bare-handed. I repeat, I can ONLY USE things. I can only BE WITH & LOVE people for my enjoyment without clinging/attaching to them.

    Attachment is the enemy to life. You will never live till you stop clinging to life. Let go! Let go life if it is its time to go. Don’t cling to it. With this I do NOT mean kill yourself. No! Take good care of your life. And when it is its time to go, LET GO! When we cling LOVE & HAPPINESS die. You can only love people and be happy (with them) if you are unattached, by not clinging, by letting go. It is easily said and understood in my head but it is quite a different thing when I sit and feel it in my heart.

  16. Roger Miller Says:
    December 12th, 2012 at 7:15 pm

    The suggestion of “letting go” sometimes makes my skin bristle. When I am stuck in a moment and I either hear it from someone else, or better yet from my own head,”well just let go”….yeah right. Letting go of something is a process, and what I have found that works for me while I am processing a situation, is to “Let it Be”. With that I seem to relax, become more centered. The letting go will come, the letting it be, will help facilitate that process…..Namaste

  17. Gini Grey Says:
    December 14th, 2012 at 1:01 pm

    Thanks Roger, I love it - “Let it Be.” I relax with that as well - feels as though I’m letting go of resistance to what is so the process of letting go can happen over time.

    Take care,

    Gini

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